Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Will Never Host the Oscars Together

To the dismay of William Shatner and fans around the world, Tina Fey recently revealed that she has no intention of ever emceeing the Academy Awards ceremony with or without her BFF, and Golden Globes co-host, Amy Poehler.

Pics: The 2013 Oscars!

When asked if she'd ever consider the gig, Fey told The Huffington Post that she wouldn't dare sign up for the task because the Oscars are far too much work.

"I just feel like that gig is so hard," she said, adding that her gender would make hosting duties extremely taxing.

Related: Stars React to Tina & Amy's Golden Globes Hosting Gig

Mused Fey, "The amount of months that would be spent trying on dresses alone ... no way."

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Coral Gables native Martin Zweig, Wall Street wiz, dies in Florida

A decade before he foresaw the 1987 stock market crash, Coral Gables native Marty Zweig was already considered a Wall Street wizard.

Renown business journalist Dan Dorfman called him “the country’s hottest investment adviser” in 1981, his picture appeared on the cover of Money Magazine in 1982, and he was frequent guest on the PBS financial show Wall Street Week.

He wrote two best-selling books: Winning on Wall Street, in 1986, and Winning with New IRAs, in 1987.

On Oct. 19 that year, just as Zweig had predicted three days earlier on Wall Street Week, the market plummeted 23 percent.

Zweig, whose three-story Pierre Hotel penthouse is one of New York City’s most lavish residences, died Feb. 18 at another of his homes, on South Florida’s Fisher Island. He was 70. Zweig had been treated for cancer, and underwent a liver transplant in 2010 with tissue from his younger son.

Born Martin Edward Zweig on July 2, 1942, in Cleveland, he spent his formative years growing up in Coral Gables where he was known as Marty Gateman after his widowed mother remarried.

He attended Coral Gables Elementary and Ponce de Leon Junior High schools, was a Coral Gables High School varsity basketball player and track star — class of 1960 — and 2001 Cavalier’s school Hall of Famer.

Childhood friend Richard B. Bermont, a Miami financial adviser, remembered Zweig as a great poker player even in high school, “pretty much a jokester, and the ladies loved him.’’

He legally changed his last name back to Zweig when he was 21, after his mother and Dr. Gateman divorced, said former wife Mollie Friedman.

Zweig wrote that his interest in financial began when the 1948 Cleveland Indians were playing in the World Series.

“I was the kid who knew the most about the team and had a vague idea about what batting averages mean. I had begun to love numbers. Perhaps this was a tip-off that I’d later graduate to the market.’’

He earned a bachelor’s in economics from The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania in 1964, later an M.B.A. from the University of Miami and a doctorate in finance from Michigan State University.

In 1984, Zweig joined with stock picker Joe DiMenna, with whom he co-founded Zweig-DiMenna Partners, their first long/short hedge fund.

Zweig also created two closed-end funds traded on the New York Stock Exchange, according to his corporate biography: The Zweig Fund in 1986 and The Zweig Total Return Fund in 1988.

In his first book, he wrote: “When playing the market, remember you must deal with probabilities, employ sensible strategies to limit risk, and get aggressive only when conditions warrant.’’

He was as quirky in his private life as he was serious about investing. Stan Smith, a Fisher Island friend, said that last year, Zweig installed a “banana yellow’’ 1934 Packard convertible in his living room.

Zweig’s memorabilia collection includes the dress Marilyn Monroe wore to sing “Happy Birthday” to President John F. Kennedy in 1962, a pair of JFK’s silk pajamas, the suits The Beatles wore on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1964, Super Bowl rings, Heisman Trophies, Oscar statuettes and Gold Records; one of the Harley-Davidson Hydra-Glide motorcycles that actor Peter Fonda rode in the film “Easy Rider;” an outfit that Jimi Hendrix wore in concert; and the booking sheet from one of Al Capone’s arrests, and a letter written by baseball legend Mickey Mantle describing a sexual encounter at Yankee Stadium.

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Is this really the end of Cuba’s Castro brothers? Exiles say not so fast

On the streets of Miami, the announcement of a possible end to the Castro brothers’ rule was met with uncharacteristic silence Monday — no clanging of pots and pans in Little Havana and Hialeah.

No loud pronouncements on Spanish-language radio, either, about the news that President Raúl Castro planned to retire in 2018 and had named an heir apparent.

“There’s like, a little burnout about this subject with us,” said Alex Fumero, 30, a co-creator, editor and contributor of the poetry group Hialeah Haikus.

But the emotions were as strong as ever for Cuban-born U.S. Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, who believes this is just another sinister ploy by the Castro brothers.

“The fact that this possible retirement won’t take effect for years is just another in a long line of false propaganda tactics used by the regime to trick the masses and international community,” said Ros-Lehtinen, whose political career has been dedicated to opposing Castro.

“U.S. law states that no Castro may be in power, so this may be a ploy by the Cuban regime to attempt to normalize relations prematurely with the U.S.,’’ she said.

Miami radio commentator Ninoska Perez Castellon said five more years of any Castro is a long time. "This is just more of the same, and a cruel joke on a people enduring a 54-year-old dictatorship," she said.

Many like the idea of an end to the Castros, but they say it should have happened years ago.

“They’re giving up power too late and five years is too long to wait for them to actually do it,” said Francisco “Pepe” Hernandez, president of the Cuban-American National Foundation, a group that has long lobbied in Washington against the Castros.

“‘They’ve already done so much harm to the Cuban people. And the nerve to think they can name a successor, as if Cuba was their personal farm. The successor they named better be careful; those guys sometimes just disappear,” he said.

Cuban-born Marta Olchyk, a Surfside commissioner, said she was “glad that Raúl Castro said he is leaving in five years” although it would have happened anyway because of his age, she said.

“Cuba is slowly but surely moving away from communism,” said Olchyk, who left the island in 1960. “So, this is not earth-shattering news.”

Battle-weary Jose Basulto met the news with a cynical laugh.

“I have to laugh because this is so disrespectful, such an insult,” said Basulto, who took part in the 1961 Bay of Pigs invasion and founded the Brothers to the Rescue, a group that helped rafters fleeing Cuba find their way to U.S. shores.

Juan Clark, a professor emeritus at Miami Dade College and Bay of Pigs veteran, does not believe Raúl Castro actually will leave on his own in five years.

“I think many people were eager to see the end of the system and unfortunately that hasn’t happened,’’ said Clark, who has studied the exile community for many years.

Some “historic exiles” who came to the United States in the early days of the revolution have sworn they will never return as long as a Castro is in power.

Others, mainly those who have arrived after the Mariel boatlift in 1980, still have family on the island and travel there to help fledgling family businesses and might not even consider themselves exiles, Clark said.

Cuban-Americans offered a variety of opinions through The Miami Herald’s Public Insight Network.

It was ho-hum news for some younger Cuban-Americans, known as the ABCs — American-born Cubans who learned to hate the Castros from older family members.

Lazaro Castillo of Orlando, who was born the year of the revolution, gave little credence to the announcement.

“Any change in the island has a meaning, and this particular change is another manipulation, and in order to maintain the dynasty,’’ he said.

Miramar resident Olga Perez-Cormier, an American-born Cuban, also felt it was no more than a ploy.

“I listen to this with my usual skepticism,’’ she said. “I wish both Castro brothers would hurry up and die, but apparently, it will never be that easy.”

Miami Herald staff writer Mimi Whitefield contributed to this report. It also includes comments from the Public Insight Network, an online community of people who have agreed to share their opinions with The Miami Herald. Sign up by going to MiamiHerald.com

/Insight.

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Exclusive Pic: Seth Rogen on 'The Mindy Project'

Comedic actor Seth Rogen is set to guest star on Tuesday's episode of Mindy Kaling's The Mindy Project, in which he plays her long-lost lover. ETonline has your exclusive first look.

In his cameo on the comedy series, which premiered its first season last fall, Rogen reunites with Kaling's self-named character, "Mindy," after being her first kiss years ago. According to the episode's synopsis, the reunited pair recall their time at summer camp together and later rekindle their teenage flame.

PICS: Stars Without Makeup!

As we see in the photo, Rogen sports a U.S. Army T-shirt in the episode, which is part of the Hollywood-backed veteran campaign "Got Your 6" that is aimed to "bridge the civilian-military divide."

Watch Rogen's full cameo on The Mindy Project Tuesday at 9:30 p.m. on FOX.

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Now it’s her turn to serve him up on a platter

Andrea Peyser

Some husbands run around with random women, drink to excess, gamble away the kid’s college savings, or manhandle their wives to a bloody pulp.

Police Officer Gilberto Valle was home most every night planning elaborate meals.

Unfortunately, Valle’s notion of ways to better serve his trusting spouse featured an unconventional main ingredient.

His wife.

“He hung me up by my feet!’’ Kathleen Mangan-Valle sobbed in the ordinarily staid and PG-rated Manhattan federal court yesterday.

She was describing the day in September when she discovered, to her utter horror, that the love of her life, the man of her dreams, the father of her infant daughter — a guy she, ironically, met on the Internet — harbored a secret as burning as a 350-degree oven.

She pored over her hub’s hush-hush cache of Internet fantasies. And in that dark and depraved hole, Kathleen was the star of a cannibal’s reality-TV series.

She found her husband, who had lately been unaffectionate and distant, cared for Kathleen, all right. He liked her roasted and basted on a spit.

Valle, 28, is among the few, the twisted, the deviant who are turned on by the idea of devouring female flesh — and he allegedly conspired to cook it to a golden brown. Then eat it.

He is charged with conspiring with a man who lived in his grandparents’ basement, Michael Van Hise, to kidnap, rape, murder and slow-cook a banquet of unsuspecting womanhood. The unlucky human sacrifice would be served on a platter with an apple in her teeth.

The courtroom was flooded, to standing-room only, with spectators, lawyers and unhealthy-looking types who took careful notes throughout the proceedings, which I don’t care to see.

Valle, looking like a kid with a buzz cut in a dark suit, sobbed as he sat at the defendant’s table. He lost his wife. His kid. His password-protected access to darkfetishnet.com.

He repeatedly wiped his eyes as his wife told of his depravity. He may never surf for porn again.

But, his lawyer insists, it was all a kind of sick joke — a fantasy that makes “Fifty Shades of Grey’’ look like dirty hopscotch. Valle, said lawyer Julia Gatto, never intended to actually go through with it. He would never pan roast a living soul.

But tell that to Valle’s poor, suffering wife, who left him last fall when she discovered what he was up to at all hours of the early morning, scouring the Internet for recipes while normal carnivores are counting sheep.

On her own laptop, she found the names of more than 100 women, all real people, not fantasies. He included their height, weight and distinguishing characteristics. And then, Valle described what he wanted to do with them.

Valle, she said, chatted online about fricasseeing a human.

Consider this trial a cautionary tale. You don’t know the handsome stranger who looked so promising on the Internet. Check references.

andrea.peyser@nypost.com

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Archbishop Wenski leads 90-mile motorcycle run

After a blessing, motorcycles roared their engines and drove out of St. Richard Catholic Church in Palmetto Bay to participate in the first Motorcycle Poker Run organized by the Archdiocese of Miami.

Heading the bikers: Archbishop Thomas Wenski wearing a biker’s leather jacket and riding his black Harley-Davidson Street Glide motorcycle.

“Bikers are people that are accustomed to praying because if you’re going to ride a motorcycle, you should know how to pray,” said Wenski, who has been riding his motorcycle for about 10 years. “This is a way to bring some good attention, find financial support for St. Luke’s Center [Catholic Charity] and have a good time.”

Behind him, more than 60 other riders followed for about 90 miles through South Florida roads.

“Today he is not just my spiritual leader,” said Natacha Quiroz, the only woman driving a motorcycle on her own. “He is my road leader.”

At every stop, including Robert Is Here, the fruit and vegetable farm stand in Florida City, Cafe 27 in Weston, and Peterson’s Harley-Davidson in Miami Gardens, the contestants picked up a card, eventually collecting a complete poker hand.

The bikers were also able to interact with the archbishop and others while competing for the $500 Harley-Davidson gift card.

But Wenski’s favorite stop was at the Schoenstatt Center in Homestead, where riders were able to stop at the chapel, say a private prayer and enjoy refreshments.

“It’s always good to ride with good people,” said Bob Borges of Hollywood, who rode with his daughter. “The problem with a lot of other rides is that they all go from bar to bar to bar, and I don’t drink when I ride.”

The Chrome Knights Motorcycle Association and other groups helped the archdiocese organize the poker run and guided the inexperienced drivers. Volunteers from the organization also helped guide the riders and stop traffic at intersections.

For Quiroz, who had never experienced riding in a group, the privilege of riding with the archbishop was indescribable.

“My heart is pounding so hard,” said Quiroz, who took out her motorcycle from her garage for the fist time in more than a year. “My motorcycle is the tiniest among these huge machines, and if you see me I look like a butterfly among eagles. But to know that I’m the only girl makes me feel like an eagle, I am proud.”

The Poker Run, according to the Rev. Luis Rivero, was also a way to show others that following Christ can be fun.

“It’s a way for us to learn to use the tools of today, speak the language of the younger generations and bridge the gap between the ancient and the new,” said Rivero, who has been riding his three-wheeled Spyder for the past three years. “The archbishop makes fun of me and says that because I have three wheels I’m still in training.”

The proceeds of the run will go to programs that help people in the community recover from various types of addiction, and Wenski is hoping to establish the poker run as annual event to support St. Luke’s.

“Many people know I’ve been riding a motorcycle for some years now, so hopefully they’ll support it even if they don’t ride a motorcycle,” Wenski said. “I pray before, during and after I ride my bike.”

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Best Actress Winner Jennifer Lawrence Talks Oscar Fall

First the SAG Awards and now the Oscars!? Jennifer Lawrence isn't having the best of luck with her gowns this awards season.

After suffering an unfortunate fall at Sunday night's ceremony while accepting her Best Actress statuette for Silver Linings Playbook, a mortified Lawrence explained to the Academy Awards press room that she had (once again) fallen victim to her elaborate dress.

Pics: The 15 Best Oscar Dresses of All Time

"I tried to walk up stairs in this dress, that's what happened," the humiliated 22-year-old star said of her stumble moments before, laying the blame on her Dior gown's lengthy train. "I think I just stepped on the fabric and they waxed the stairs."

So what was Lawrence thinking when the embarrassing moment played out live to millions around the world?

Related: The Complete Oscars 2013 Winners List

"[I thought about] a bad word that I can't say [on TV]," she laughed, elaborating that the phrase 'starts with an 'F.'"

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Reeva on the road to ruin

Newly released security footage shows a beaming Reeva Steenkamp driving into Oscar Pistorius’ apartment complex hours before she was shot and killed by the legless Olympian on Valentine’s Day.

In the last known picture of Steenkamp alive, the South African model is seen smiling as she rolls her Mini Cooper toward the home of the world-famous “Blade Runner” just before 6 p.m.

She appears to banter with a security guard as he allows her into the complex 10 minutes before Pistorius arrives.

The pictures were revealed as news surfaced that the 29-year-old blond beauty had not planned to spend the night with her beau.

M.NET

DOOMED: Reeva Steenkamp pulls into his complex in footage taped hours before her shooting.

Getty Images

Reeva Steenkamp, above with beau Oscar Pistorius

She originally wanted to return to the home of Cecil Myers, the father of her best friend, Kim.

But hours before she was killed, Steenkamp sent out a text message.

“ ‘Hi guys, I’m too tired. It’s too far to drive. I’m sleeping at Oscar’s tonight. See you tomorrow,’ ” Myers told South Africa’s City Press newspaper.

Pistorius, 26, later gunned down Steenkamp as she cowered in a bathroom, prosecutors allege.

The Olympian has maintained that he mistook her for a burglar.

Cecil Myers said Pistorius was trouble from Day One.

“He kept pestering her, phoning and phoning and phoning her. Oscar was hasty and impatient and very moody,” Myers said. “She told me he pushed her a bit into a corner.”

Meanwhile, Steenkamp’s parents, Barry and June, told the TV show “Carte Blanche” that they have been watching their daughter’s posthumous appearances on the reality-TV show “Tropika Island of Treasure” just so they could “see her laughing” once more.

Separately, Kenny Oldwage, an attorney for Pistorius’ older brother, Carl, confirmed his client has been charged with vehicular manslaughter stemming from a 2008 car crash with a female motorcyclist.

“Blood tests conducted by the police at the time proved that he had not been under the influence of alcohol, confirming that it was a tragic road accident after the deceased collided with Carl’s car,” he said.

Carl’s trial had been scheduled for last week, but has been postponed until next month.

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Miami medicine goes digital

About 10 years ago, Dr. Fleur Sack quit her practice as a family physician to become a hospital department head. Spurring her decision was the need to switch from paper records to electronic ones to keep her private practice profitable. “At that time, it would have cost about $50,000,” Dr. Sack recalled. “It was too expensive and it was too overwhelming.”

But times and technologies changed, and last year, Dr. Sack left her hospital job to restart her medical practice with an affordable system for managing electronic patient records. She agreed to a $5,000 setup fee and a subscription fee of $500 per month for the system. Her investment also qualified her for subsidy money, which the federal government pays in installments, and to date, her subsidy income has paid for the setup fee and about two years of monthly fees. “So far, I’ve got my check for $18,000,” she said. “There’s a total of $44,000 that I can get.”

That kind of cash flow is one reason why so-called EHR software systems for electronic health records have been among the hottest-selling commercial products in the world of information technology. EHR system development is a growth industry in South Florida, too. Life sciences and biotechnology are among the high growth-potential sectors identified by the Beacon Council-led One Community One Goal economic development initiative unveiled in 2012; already, the University of Miami has opened a Health Science Technology Park while Florida International University has launched a program in its graduate school of business oriented toward biotechnology businesses.

For many young businesses in the area’s IT industry, government incentives are paving the way. The federal government is pushing doctors and hospitals to use electronic health records to cut wasteful spending and improve patient care while protecting patient privacy — sending digital information via encrypted systems, for example, rather than regular email.

Under a 2009 federal law known as the HITECH Act, maximum incentive payments for buying such systems range up to $44,000 for doctors with Medicare patients and up to $63,750 for doctors with Medicaid patients. Hospitals are eligible for larger incentive payments for becoming more paperless. The subsidy program isn’t permanent; eligible professionals must begin receiving payments by 2016. But by then, the federal government will be penalizing doctors and hospitals that take Medicare or Medicaid money without making meaningful use of electronic health records.

“What the government did is, they incentivized, and now they’re going to penalize,” said Andrew Carricarte, president and CEO of IOS Health Systems in Miami, one of the largest South Florida-based vendors of online software service for physician practices. He said insurance companies also may start penalizing physicians for failing to adopt electronic health records because “the commercial payers always follow Medicare and Medicaid.”

It’s all part of the growth story at IOS Health Systems, which has more than 2,000 physicians across the nation using its online EHR system. Carricarte said many of the company’s customers buy their second EHR system from IOS after their first one flopped. “Almost 40 percent of our sales come from customers who had systems and are now switching over to something else,” he said.

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Miami Dolphins hopeful on stadium referendum date

The Miami Dolphins are hopeful the Miami-Dade County Commission will approve a May 14 date for a referendum on the $400 rehabilitation of their stadium, time enough to get South Florida in play for Super Bowl 50, a Dolphins spokesman said Saturday.

Spokesman Ric Katz said the language of the proposed referendum has yet to be decided, and ultimately the commission decides the date.

But, he said, “we’d be very happy with” May 14 because “that gives us a week to communicate to the NFL before they make the important decision of Super Bowl 50.”

NFL owners are slated to meet on May 22 to pick the site of the 2016 Super Bowl — seen as a tourist revenue prize for whichever host city gets the 50th anniversary contest.

Mayor Carlos Gimenez met Friday with Dolphins owner Stephen Ross and CEO Mike Dee to discuss the proposed stadium rehabilitation.

From the mayor’s side, there has been no agreement on a date and Gimenez does not plan to bring the proposed May 14 referendum to the commission at this time, said spokeswoman Suzy Trutie.

Friday’s was a “first meeting” at which “many things were discussed,” including the Dolphin’s preference for May 14.

But, “We continue negotiating with the Dolphins with regards to finances.”

One proposed financing plan would increase the bed tax in mainland Miami-Dade by 1 percent and increase the sales tax rebate the team already gets at the stadium in Miami Gardens. Ross had initially offered to pay at least $201 million in his financing plan. But Katz, a Miami publicist representing the team in the stadium campaign, said the two sides were still in negotiation on what the mayor would ask the commission to put to taxpayers in a referendum.

Trutie said the proposed referendum would gauge public opinion on increasing hotel taxes from 6 to 7 percent to fund the stadium renovations.

Of the commission, Katz said, “We do not take them for granted. They have the prerogative.”

Attorney Kendall Coffey did not return calls asking whether the Dolphins had hired him to write the ballot language.

Dolphins lobbyist Marcelo Llorente had said in recent weeks that the team was considering May 7 and 14 as possible referendum dates.

Any activity by the Florida Legislature would likely have to be undertaken before then. The regular session is slated to end May 3.

Miami Herald staff writers Patricia Mazzei and Doug Hanks contributed to this report.

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